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Stuffed Animal Republicans

I learned something very interesting that I would like to share with you an observation that I have chronicled since my child grabbed her first stuffed animal.

By observing how chickens go about their daily lives obvious behavioral patterns emerge. When laying an egg sometimes a hen on the nest will make a lot of noise because she is in pain. The rooster will carry on with her as if he may be coaching her.  This can go on for several minutes until she lays and occasionally he goes on for a while after. 

But if you know anything about a rooster you understand everything about feminism and why they hate men because they view every man through that prism. A lot about human characteristics are similar to instinct behaviors in animals unless purposely altered. An older wiser hen will assert herself into a role of dominance over the younger hens and so on to establish what is known as the pecking order.

My daughter has always loved getting the next new cute stuffed animal she sleeps with it, names it and hugs it goodbye every day before leaving to school. She has what seems like hundreds of these things some didn’t last as long as others a couple she always holds in special regard. But always there is that one protected can’t touch imaginary plush toy tucked in at bedtime with her. While she holds it in protective status they appear inseparable.  

The word ‘natural’ stirs the hearts of every Liberal almost as much as the word ‘free’. Both are held in special regard but the word ‘care’ has risen to the ranks of words like move on, hope and change, bipartisanship, political correctness and ethnic Albanian just to drag one out of the junk drawer for good measure. Liberals cling to these words like a child clutches a dingy rag of security.

Just like the stuffed animal Liberals love their plush, inanimate and nonresponsive phraseology. Oh they will talk about the issue on their terms and only on a premise that is clearly dishonest.   They require this sense of security as means of propping up their moral deniability of fact. The true artistry is really their melding of pure fantasy into a false clone of non-fiction fiction. 

Now we all know that when Republicans grow up and become Senators they all want to be like Liberals.  Some even take on entirely new personality traits in a desperate attempt to be loved. John McCain has the Crusty the Clown down to a science and his subordinate electorate; fall for it every time “my friends”.

Good Republicans know they are being played as McCain slams their political cage door behind him. He steps out to the glow of media specter with the head of another fallen sacrifice to the god of Liberalism. The words “my friends” are to McCain as protected as any polyester plush prince has ever been. McCain is well known to take conflicting positions on the same issue but just like almost every other GOP senator his “friends across the aisle” have protected status.

John McCain is the rooster and he’s not just coaching his fellow Republicans to lay an egg he’s desensitizing conservatism out of them in exchange for protected status in the pecking order.

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